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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Tickle Us Tuesday!




In comments, and in 300 words or less, give us a snippet from your novel that will bring a smile, incite a giggle, or
make us laugh out loud. Don't forget your buy link and website/blog link. Have fun!


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Or make your own.


Come see my snippet on Exquisite Quills' Tickle Us Tuesday! http://exquisitequills.blogspot.com/   

7 comments:

E. Ayers said...

This is from WITH THIS RING http://amzn.com/B00L1EN72C

DeeDee owns a bridal business and she's asked Cody for some help with her newly arrived mannequins. Hope it makes you grin

“Since you seem to be so good with the female anatomy, I could use some help.”
He followed her to where she had several boxes in the salon.
“Can you put these gals together for me? It's not difficult; it just takes time. I need to finish a few things before I can leave.”
He lifted a flap and stared at the jumble of arms in plastic sleeves. “I'll do my best.”
He didn't think it would take very long, but it did. **Maybe I need a ponytail to do this?** In a way, it was like fixing a doll that had come apart. Having never paid any attention to mannequins, he found them interesting. DeeDee's mannequins looked very realistic. **Sorry.** He took his hand off the breast of one as he tried to attach her head.
There was a whole box of wigs but he didn't touch those nor did he mess with the other stuff that seemed to be part of the mannequins' accessories. Just bodies. When he stopped, he put his hand on a tall rack and the whole thing wiggled. “DeeDee! I need a wrench.”

James D said...

This is from my latest novel, DREAM HOME (book #7 of the Dream Series). Sara's a doctor, and she's seeing to an elderly patient:

“Joshua, relax,” I say, when he tries and fails to sit up. “You’re in the hospital. You fell and hit your head.”

“Sara?”
I give him a bright smile. “You remembered what to call me. That’s a very good sign. But I need to examine you. I’m going to take off your gloves and unzip your coat so I can get a better look at you.”

“I haven’t had a woman try to take my clothes off since 1969,” he says, and I can’t tell from his expression whether that’s a joke or not. He shrugs after a moment. “Woodstock.” For one ridiculous moment, I wonder, assuming he’s serious, if Aunt Kat was that woman. She went to Woodstock, too. Whenever I would ask her about it, she’d tell me that she had plenty of stories, but that I wasn’t old enough to hear them.

But that’s just silly. Kat was in her early twenties, and Joshua would have been forty-six. Besides, there were, what, a million people there? “Really?”

“Really,” he says. “I had to see Jefferson Airplane. I had a thing for Grace Slick, what can I say?”

I have no idea how to respond to that.

E. Ayers said...

Every male had a thing for Grace Slick. LOL

Victoria Adams said...

This is from my VERY soon to be released new adult contemporary romance - A Guy and A Girl - Hunter has just signed his professional hockey contract. No buy link - yet. Website - http://victoriaadams.blogpsot.com

"So, tell me everything," said Chelsea.
"What everything? I signed. I'm a pro." Hunter grinned.
"Has anyone ever seen a grin bigger than that one?" Amy whispered to her husband.
"I have to know," asked Brian. "What was your signing bonus?"
Hunter chuckled. "Way too many zero's to count."
"Just for signing!" gasped Chelsea.
"Yup, just for putting my name on a piece of paper. Money's already in the bank. They did the transfer as I was sitting there. I do so love my player rep." He took another drink of champagne. "You know this stuff goes right to my head."
"What are the details? You got a signing bonus. Contractual ones?" asked Richard.
"Rookie of the year, I get a bonus. Another if I'm in the top ten scores and then an added one if in the top five."
"What if you are top scorer of the year?" asked Chelsea.
He waggled his eyebrows. "Super big bucks. Noret called."
Chelsea blinked. "The sportswear company?"
"Yup. We signed an endorsement contract today. That's whose limo that is. Hey, where'd the limo go?" Hunter looked at the bottle in his hand. "This is almost all gone."
"Would you like a beer?" Amy held one.
"Naw, beer don't give me a buzz like this stuff."
"Forget the beer and champagne," said Chelsea. "Noret signed you!"
"How'd you know that?"
"You just told us."
Hunter scratched his head. "Oh yea."
"How many bottles of that stuff have you drunk?" asked Chelsea's grandmother.
"Uh, this is my...two...ish. You know this stuff tastes pretty good, but if you haven't had any lunch, like whoa." He looked down. "Oh good, I'm sitting. I thought my legs had forgotten how to work."

JoAnne Myers said...

This snippett is from "Welcome to Anna" one tale from my fantasy anthology "Loves, Myths, and Monsters."

“Gee, ZoĆ«, I don’t know what to tell ya’. The last time someone here got an anonymous gift, it exploded in her face when she opened it.”
“Are you serious?” I said mouth agape.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t a bomb or anything. It was talcum powder.”
“Talcum powder?” I laughed.
“Yeah!” she said. “One of the bakery ladies, had a boyfriend always sending her gifts. Therefore, someone played a trick on her with talcum powder. When the box was delivered, she thought it was another gift from her boyfriend so…”
“I get it…and when she lifted the lid…surprise!”
“And what a surprise,” said Annette. “It took the janitor hours to mop up the stuff. It was on the ceiling and everywhere.”

MELANGE IN PRINT AND EBOOK:
http://www.melange-books.com/authors/joannemyers/LMM.html

LULU in print
http://www.lulu.com/shop/joanne-myers/loves-myths-and-monsters/paperback/product-21546632.html

AMAZON KINDLE STORE
http://www.amazon.com/Loves-Myths-Monsters-Collection-Urban-ebook/dp/B00JL3J4P4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1397151617&sr=1-1&keywords=Loves%2C+Myths+and+Monsters

Maggie Jagger said...

.
This is from Lizzie Tempest Ruins a Viscount, my historical romance.

Aunt Tempest’s hand pointed in her direction from the carriage window.

Lizzie’s legs froze.

Lord Felmont turned towards her. One man hurried after him. She forced air into her lungs and waited for them to approach. She wasn’t afraid of him! Long gone were the days when she had struggled to not show her fear, or worse, faint at his feet. To her shame, she had done just that the day the Felmonts had celebrated her betrothal to him. Even her mother had found it vastly amusing, but those days were long gone.

He was hatless, an almost certain sign he was foxed. He moved with his odd loose-limbed grace, his long legs covering more ground than his companion. They left a silver trail in the morning dew coating the lawn.

Even the way Felmont walked towards her seemed insulting. She willed herself to be calm. He could only want to thank her for repairing the Folly.

He stopped. Close enough to touch.

His long dark brown hair had been bleached at the ends by a foreign sun, showing a strange reddish color, as if he had been singed in hell’s fire and spat out. Maybe Satan had no use for him either.

He had a handsome face if the Felmont likeness could be overlooked, not that Lizzie intended to try. It was said the Felmonts got their long noses and high cheekbones from the first Viscount Felmont’s gypsy wife, but then men always blamed women for everything.

http://maggiejaggerauthor.blogspot.ca/


http://amzn.to/1qpGThJ


Margaret Fieland said...

This scene is from my current work-in-progress:

"Reuben's with me. I asked him to stay." Rob gazed at Laura, who stopped short, a wash of red rising up her neck and face.

'Rob, I --" Laura began.

"Don't bother to make excuses, Laurie. I already know you wanted to have an affair with Reuben." Rob trained his gaze on Carol. "What about you? Who did you pick?"

"Someone else." Carol crossed her arms. Her rapid-fire speech telegraphed her agitation. "I was frustrated, Rob. We both were. We still are."

"Who was it? No, never mind. It doesn't matter." Rob's gaze ping-ponged around the front hall.

"It was Adam Levine," Carol said.

"The instrument maker, the one who is building your spinet? Isn't that a bit awkward?" Rob considered Carol.

"A bit," Carol admitted. "So, now you know, what will we do?"

Rob's gaze traveled from Carol's to Laura and on to Reuben. Reuben's wore its usual, pleasant, neutral expression. Rob said, "I can't do this any more. I can't keep these secrets, and I can't continue guarding my thoughts. And most of all, I can't go on swallowing my feelings."

Carol's mouth dropped open. Laura's eyes grew round. Both sank down on a bench.

"What's this about?" Carol asked.

Rob turned to Reuben, who smiled encouragement.

"I love Reuben, and he loves me." Rob turned to Laura. "Why did you pick Reuben? Was he a convenience or are there some real feelings between you?"

Laura's mouth gaped. "You want me to tell you?"

"Never mind." Rob turned to Carol. "Adam, is he important to you? Other than as a provider of a spinet?"

"There's no tie between us." Carol used the Aleyni word.

"Then why not pick Reuben?" Rob asked. "What was wrong with him?"

"What was wrong with Reuben? You've been in love with Reuben for years, since before you met me, and you ask me why I wouldn't go to bed with him?" Carol was shouting. "You're completely nuts."

Four heads peeked over the balcony running around three sides of the hall.

"Are you mad at each other?" Alex asked.

"Pretty mad," Reuben said.

"How much longer are you going to yell at each other?" Marianne asked.

"Can we go across the street to play with Kyrosh?" Melissa asked. "Beram and his sister will be there, too."

"We promise not to come back until you're done yelling. You can message us," Andy said.

Nobody said anything, which the kids took for a yes, evidently, as they trooped down the stairs and left, slamming the front door behind them.
***************
You can find the previous Aleyne novels (and my other works) on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Margaret-Fieland/e/B008E6QBFU/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1