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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Tickle Us Tuesday!

In comments, and in 300 words or less, give us a snippet from your novel that will bring a smile, incite a giggle, or
make us laugh out loud. Don't forget your buy link and website/blog link. Have fun!

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Come see my snippet on Exquisite Quills' Tickle Us Tuesday!   


Margaret Fieland said...

“They claim we promised to sell grain to them,” Mehrdad said.
“Suresh and I spoke with them," Gamal said.
“How much did you promise them?” Mehrdad asked.
Suresh said, "Half the grain in the hold."
Mehrdad raised his eyebrows. “So much? We're planning to establish trade here, not indulge in a quick profit.”
“Go ahead, ask them if they will continue to buy from us," Suresh said.
“Have you agreed on a price?”
Suresh shook his head. “We left it to you.”
Mehrdad opened communications, and the control room of the other ship appeared on the screen in front of him. Four hard-faced men appeared in the viewer. “Why so much grain? How many of you are there?”
One of the men answered. “Only the four of us. We ain't accountable to you for what we do with it. We're buying it right and proper.”
“We wish to establish trade," Mehrdad said.
“We'll be satisfied , and so will our customers. This beats the blazes out of the dusty crap the Federation provides, and most of the time we ain't able to get hold of any.” The man spat. “Any chance you might be able to sell us a wooden barrel or two next time?”
Barrel? Grain? “They're making moonshine.” The words burst from my lips. I used the Common word for Moonshine. Mehrdad frowned as I struggled to explain. "I watched a vidi about aliens who wanted to make whiskey." The aliens resembled giant ants, and they'd recruited a human to help them get the flavor right.
“An intoxicant?” Mehrdad asked. "Do you comprehend what an intoxicant is?" He translated the word into Common before I understood.
The man from the other ship leaned forward. “The kid's right. You got any objections?”
“But isn'tit illegal?” Alan asked.
"Well, they'd have to find out first. You gonna tell someone?" the man asked.
"Not us," Suresh said. "We're here to sell grain, not provide the Federation an income."

ML Skye said...

Today, I'm sharing a humorous exchange from Midwinter Crises, Book One of Capital City Seasons from Ellipses Press, Ltd.


Murph didn't bat an eye when they pulled into the parking lot, full of both road and sky bikes. His step never faltered when Jessa pulled open the door and breezed into one of the skankiest dives in the city—hell, probably on the entire planet. He did raise a brow when Jess crawled over the bar to plant a big, sloppy kiss on the barkeep's cheek.

She'd tell him later the big, burly man named Dinky was like a second dad.

Murph impressed her again when he seamlessly blended in, adapted to the ambience of the place and ordered a pint. He held the mug comfortably with one hand while she ordered the same.

It was a perfect opening move on his part.

If he'd requested anything more potent, like a bottle of something harder and a shot glass, she'd have written him off as a waste of time. Anyone who needed strong spirits to have a good time in a dive didn't bear thinking about.

The food wasn't great, but it was edible. And Ben held up his end, in both conversation and attitude, before, during, and after they ate their meal.

At her nod of agreement he signaled Dinky for another round and leaned back in his chair. "So, did I pass?"

Jess sputtered, the last dregs of her ale going down hard. Then she laughed. She truly liked the guy.

He completely busted her on the location. "Oh, yeah. I'd say you more than passed." She picked up her newly delivered brew and rose from her seat. "Are you as good at throwing darts as you are everything else?"

Murph grinned and stood. "Why don't we find out?" He snagged his mug off the table and led the way.


I hope you enjoyed.

Available here: Amazon


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Thank you for reading.

Susan Macatee said...

Snippet from my American-Victorian romance novel, Cassidy's War.


Before he could utter another word, George raised his fist and slammed it into the doctor's face.

"George, don't!" Cassidy cried.

George paid no attention. Madison growled and swung at George. He ducked and the doctor swung again, this time connecting with George's jaw and knocking them both to the ground.

The two wrestled and grunted, rolling around in the dirt.

Cassidy stepped to the edge of the alley, her heart thudding. No pedestrians strolled by. Wringing her hands, she turned back. She had to stop this herself.

"Will you please stop acting like school boys or common ruffians?" She glared at them, hands fisted on her hips.

"I won't let you hurt Cassie, you pompous ass," George ground out.

"Looks to me like you already have," Madison spat.

George swung and connected with the doctor's nose.

A loud crunch drew a gasp from Cassidy.

George glanced up, his lip curled upward. He rose to his feet, breathing hard.

Dr. Madison lay flat on his back, cradling his bloodied nose in both hands.

"George Masters!" Cassidy glared into his dark eyes. "Just what are you doing?"

"He—I..." George arched a brow. "He had you alone in a dark alley. What am I supposed to think?"

She lifted her fisted hands to rest on her hips. "So you punched him?"

"Well...he hit me, too." He rubbed his jaw.

Marie Lavender said...

From Magick & Moonlight, a paranormal romance through Solstice Shadows:

“Is there a reason I found you naked out there? I mean, you lost your clothes somehow, right?”
The secret smile she gave him made his throat feel dry. “Do you want me to lie?”
“Of course not.”
“The ritual was best practiced in the nude. Skyclad rituals are very common, you know. The Goddess tells us, ‘You shall be free from all slavery, and as a sign that you be truly free, you shall be naked in your rights.’"
He lifted a brow. “Even if that were the case, you didn’t walk there naked, did you?”
“Didn’t I?”
Maybe she was crazy after all.
“I didn’t walk at all.”
He thought she might be saying that she was transported by magic. Yep, she was batty as hell. He was so not touching that one. He cleared his throat again.
A sharp cry startled him and instinctively, he reached forward and grabbed her when she started to fall. Unfortunately, she ended up right in his arms.
Or maybe it was fortunate after all. With her luscious lips so close, he could almost taste her. And her scent…dear God, she was intoxicating, like a mixture of night air and jasmine. “You all right?” he managed.
She nodded. “My foot caught on a rock, I think.”
“Is it bleeding?”
“My foot or the rock?” Her cheek dimpled.
He laughed. “Your foot, of course.”
“No, I don’t think so. It’s all right.”
“Good.” He realized his mistake immediately. Some strange instinct caused him to keep her close. Stepping back would be a crime and she was seductive. Knowing she was naked underneath his coat didn’t help anything. She was way too accessible. Heedless of the costs, he plunged a hand into the soft waves of her dark hair and lowered his mouth to hers.

Victoria Adams said...

From my NA contemporary romance- Dancing in Circles. Scene – house party.

Jennifer released Julie and smiled. "Robert, beer's over there. Drop a twenty in the bucket and drink away."
He grinned. "This party might not be so bad after all. Can I get you a diet something?"
Julie chuckled as she pointed. "You go that way and get a beer. I'll go over there and grab a diet something. And then we'll meet back here."
"Synchronize our watches?"
Giggling, Julie disappeared into the crowd.
Robert stood near the beer line and watched as a brunette in a tight short skirt and low cut top strutted across the room and stood before him.
She dropped her gaze to his feet and moved it up to his hips then linked gazes with him. "Hello, tall, dark and totally do-able." She dragged her tongue across her top lip.
Robert's chuckle started with a shake of his shoulders then moved to the crooked grin on his face before it erupted from his mouth.
She stepped in closer, slid her hand down his stomach and rested it on the inside of his thigh.
Robert didn't release his gaze from hers. "What? Ya want me to just rip your clothes off and do ya here?"
Her pupils dilated.
Robert flicked her hand off his leg then glanced left and right to see who had slipped their arms around his.
"Tonya." Tricia waited until the girl looked at her. "This gorgeous hunk of maleness is more man than you could ever handle."
Jennifer flicked her hand. "Go away now. He's all ours."
Tonya turned on her heel and stormed off.
"Thank you. But I coulda handled that myself."
"We're just protecting Julie's property." Tricia winked and wandered over to speak with a friend.
Jennifer released his arm. "Tonya's the school slut."
"Figured that out all by myself."

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B.J. McCall said...

Vazan Vampires by B.J. McCall

This scene is from Hunting Evil, one of the stories in my Vazan Vampires Collection. Maxim is a hunter, one of the best in the universe. He needs Zoe’s help to find his prey. Getting her out of prison is just the beginning of his adventure.

Zoe was simply the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Framed by long dark lashes, her slanted silver-gray eyes dominated her face. Her lips were pink and lush and her skin fair and flawless. Her black hair was short and shaggy.

The moment she’d looked him in the eye and told him he was hunting evil Maxim had wanted her. Despite being incarcerated in one of the toughest prisons in the Ministry’s system, she hadn’t lost her spirit. Given their mission, she was going to need every ounce of it.

Her gaze locked with his as she stepped into his ship. “This bucket ready to fly?”

Struck again by her beauty, Maxim grunted an affirmative.

She yanked open the collar of her skinsuit, revealing an enticing amount of cleavage. “You have anything for me to wear? I look like shit in puke green.”

He ached to palm those lush breasts straining her skinsuit.

She ripped the seam open to her waist. “Take a good look.”

Her nipples were rosy pink and puckered to succulent points. Maxim’s mouth watered.


His gaze snapped up to met hers.

A grin curved her lips. “Let’s get the f**k off this planet!”

Carly Carson said...

This is an excerpt from Baby, It's Cold Outside.

Jenna repeated Kate's words from the flirting class in her head. Shoulders straight. Hips forward. Lips curling upwards as if you were ready to smile. She had no trouble adopting a sexy swivel when Grant's eyes watching her were as hot as the fire.

"Have a seat." He gestured toward the sofa.

"I'm all wet."

His blue gaze snapped to her face. "I like wet in a woman." A small grin played about his lips.

She had to lick her lips, though she didn't intend it as a flirtatious gesture. Her mouth was as dry as the firewood. The truth was, she didn't have enough real-life practice with flirting.

But she never should have attempted her first in-the-flesh seduction with a guy as hot as Grant. Kate had made it sound so doable, as easy as remembering a few rules from class. Ha! She obviously didn't know how cold her brother could look, even when standing in front of a roaring fire.

"Big talk," she managed.

"I'm a big guy," he said, widening his eyes in a fake look of innocence. Jenna knew exactly which part of him he wanted her to associate with the word 'big'. She fought a blush as she sauntered over to the sofa.

Well, sauntered was the wrong word. No one could do any such thing in these backless, high-heeled sandals. Kate had assured her that no man could resist them and, Jenna had to admit, Grant's eyes had landed on her legs more than once.

She plopped down on the sofa and, recalling another of Kate's tips, she crossed one leg over the other, and pointed her right foot toward Grant. Gently, she began tapping the loose heel of her sandal against her foot. Her movement worked like a hypnotist's gold watch. Grant stared.


B & N

Carly Carson Website:

Anonymous said...

From my new contemporary romance novel Playing for Keeps ~ After work hangout scene.

“Lemme get a scotch on the rocks,” I told Jay as I settled onto my stool on the opposite side of where Cam was seated discussing Sunday’s ball game with Em.
“On the rocks huh? Tryna cool down your temper with some ice tonight I see.” Jay laughed easily as he prepared my drink.
“Let’s just say I’m feelin’ kinda hot right now.” I smiled at him and accepted my drink.
“That right? Too much gyrating to Rose’s Lady Gaga impersonation?” he threw back at me laughing. Nick and Allie joined in the laughter.
“Cassie gyrate? You forget she got two left feet?” Allie piped up.
“Yea, couldn’t dance even if her life depended on it,” Rose added as she walked over to us.
“Dancing is overrated anyway,” I told them in mock pique, “I prefer not to look like a squawking parrot thank you very much!”
“No, princess, that’s just you.” Jay snickered. “The rest of us do know how not to imitate a crazy bird on the dance floor.” Everybody laughed at that.
“We teasing Cass? Hold up, lemme get in on that!” Em shouted, leaving his place next to Cam and hopping eagerly to where the rest of us were seated.
“I got dibs man, back off,” Jay told him jokingly.
“Nobody’s got dibs on teasing Cass! She’ll sucker punch you in the eye first!” Nick let them know.
“Oh definitely, but I can take it, I like it rough!” Em quipped.
Rose slapped his arm. “Emerson Clearwood, behave!” she told him in a fake stern voice.
“Rough you say, my big fella? Sounds like a challenge if I ever heard one!” I answered, ignoring Rose.
“Oooohhh, it’s on now, Em! Watch out bro!” Jay laughed, slapping Em on the back.
Em folded his arms and affected a tough guy demeanor. “Take your best shot, little girl, I ain’t never scared!”

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Rosemary Morris said...

8th March

Extract from Tangled Love
set in Queen Anne Stuart’s reign 1702-1714

Rosemary Morris

(Roberts is Viscount Chesney’s footman. Puck is Richelda’s mongrel dog who her aunt will not allow in her house, so the viscount is looking after him.)

“Another glass of wine, my lady?” Roberts intervened.
“No, thank you. I came to walk my dog,” Richelda replied.
Hearing the word ‘walk’, Puck’s tail thumped a regular drumbeat on the wooden floor.
“Roberts, can take him.” Chesney did not want anything to take Richelda from his side.
The footman clasped his hands behind his back as though he feared contact with Puck would contaminate him. “My lord!”
“Now,” Chesney insisted, determined to take advantage of this opportunity to enjoy privacy with Richelda.
She frowned at him. “But I came to take him for a short walk.”
“The streets are filthy. Humour me, allow my servant to take him.”
“Very well. Puck, the nice man will take you for a walk. Do not be frightened. Roberts will not kidnap you.”
“Kidnap that…that-” Roberts spluttered.

Tangled Love is available from: MuseItUp Publishing – Amazon – Barnes and Noble – Smashwords – Omnlit – Coffeetime Romance and elsewhere.

Joyce said...

I remember this scene, and the humor of it stands up even out of context.

Margaret Fieland said...

Thanks. I had a huge amount of fun writing it {grin}. I actually have written a story about giant alien ants who want to make whiskey :-)