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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Tickle Us Tuesday!

In comments, and in 300 words or less, give us a snippet from your novel that will bring a smile, incite a giggle, or
make us laugh out loud. Don't forget your buy link and website/blog link. Have fun!

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Come see my snippet on Exquisite Quills' Tickle Us Tuesday!   


E. Ayers said...

Oh, am I in trouble for being over word count. It's in bright RED 300 words or less! But I hope you enjoy my city girl in the west.

The place smelled damp, musty, and of chemicals. She walked up to the counter and said, "I'm supposed to talk to Billy Joe. Are you him?"
The man guffawed. "Hey, BillieJo!"
An older woman appeared.
"This here newcomer seems to think you're a man. You've been hiding something from us?" The man clapped his hands on the counter with his laughter.
"Ya dumb coot. Hush up! Find something to keep yourself busy. I'm not paying you to stand around and laugh." The woman turned to Lindie. "I'm BillieJo. Now, what can I do for you?"
Heat flowed up Lindie's cheeks. "Maggie suggested I talk to you about what I can still plant this time of year. We like our salads."
"Follow me." The woman shoved several seed packets into Lindie's hands.
"And can I buy flowers? Miz Barbara Coleman has all these pretty red flowers near her front door."
The woman motioned for Lindie to follow. As they walked from the showroom to the back of the store, Lindie stopped dead in her tracks and peered into a handful of cages. "Oh, they are adorable! Are they pets?"
"I'll warn you, if you don't eat the eggs, you'll have too many."
Excitement filled her. "Are they like chickens?"
"No, honey. They're ducks."
"I figured that much because they have that flat…" She put her fingers together and mimicked the mouth.
"It's a beak."
"I-I mean, do you feed them like chickens?'
"No. Chickens eat chicken feed and ducks eat duck feed."
Lindie knew she was becoming the laughing stock for the store. "Okay, so I buy them duck food. Do they need anything else?"
"Shelter. And, by the way, they swim."
"We've got that pond in the back. I mean…um…I thought it would be fun to have ducks."
The woman nodded.
"Can they sleep with the chickens? I don't want a bear to eat them while we're sleeping."
"Miz Lindie, where are you from?"

E. Ayers said...

Lindie tried to stand up straight and at least act confident. "Philadelphia, Pennsylvania."
"Your biggest problem is going to be keeping those dogs of Neil's from eating them. Go right ahead and put them in the chicken coop. Those chickens aren't going to care at this stage, and by the time they are grown, the chickens will be used to them. How many do you want? All of them?"
Lindie held up two fingers.
"I'll give you three. That leaves me with six. People want the babies, not these half grown things. I'll be eating duck for Christmas."
Lindie swallowed. They were too adorable to eat.
"You want to pick them out?" BillieJo pulled a cardboard box-like thing from an overhead shelf and started to open it. It unfolded into a carrier. "Guess I'll have to loan you one of our wagons to get them home, but bring it right back this afternoon. I don't like my things being left all over town."
BillieJo opened the cage and Lindie attempted to catch one, but it ran from her.
"This one?" BillieJo plucked one from the huddle and deposited it into the carrier.
"Yes. And that one, and that one." She watched BillieJo pick up the other two and put them in the cardboard crate. "Okay. They need food. Do I need to buy them a water bowl?"
BillieJo handed her the box. "The pond will provide them with plenty of water."
"But you have water in there, and I figured--"
"Don't. Do you see a pond?" The woman put her hand on Lindie's arm. "You obviously know nothing about country living, but I'll give you credit for being enthusiastic. Let's go look at some Geraniums."
"What are those?"
"Red flowers, like the ones Miz Barbara has."
A Calling in Wyoming:

E. Ayers said...

I'm so-o-o bad! LOL

Stacy Juba said...

Here is an excerpt from my mystery/romantic suspense novel SInk or Swim. Former reality show contestant Cassidy Novak gets some strange reactions from her clients when she returns to her job as a personal trainer at a health club....

Cassidy led another fitness orientation, this time with a college boy who she knew was mentally undressing her, and then retreated to the locker room. She studied her harried reflection in the bathroom mirror, fingering her ponytail. Smooth and satiny. Maybe Clairol would hire her as spokeswoman.
She’d only been here a couple hours and already Cassidy wanted out. Not a good thing, since with her new popularity as a personal trainer, she could easily find herself here 60-70 hours per week. How did that leave time for Deniz Jewell’s opportunities? For creating a business plan to open her first club? Cassidy splashed cold water over her face as mounting pressure knotted in her chest.
Calm down. We’ll just see what happens. Do the best you can.
Rhonda Sue stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a short white towel, and interrupted Cassidy’s thoughts. "I memorized the exercises you told me. I'll have muscle tone like you in no time." She flexed her reedy arm into a bicep curl and the towel slipped to the black-tiled floor. Rhonda Sue stood buck naked.
Cassidy averted her pained eyes from the flash of freckled skin. Was Reggie getting these fruit loops? Josh? Felicia? Anyone?

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Calisa Rhose said...

Ooh you are bad! But it's worth it!

Calisa Rhose said...

Nice scene. Now I have that image in my head... LOL

woolfcindy said...

Fun excerpt. Definitely worth the extra wordage.

Mary Marvella said...

Good excerpts, ladies.

E. Ayers said...

Thanks. I don't write comedy, but life comes with ups and downs, and a good giggle is always worth finding in the pages.

E. Ayers said...

BIG WARNING! We say 300 words for a reason. Comments only accepts so many characters! Yes, I was bad and although no one is ever counting words, it's obvious when someone goes over the 300 limit. I'm not talking about 309 words - we aren't stringing anyone up if they go over by a few words. So please try to keep it to 300 words. :-)